"Radical" Availability

Today, alone, I've had three separate conversations regarding taking time off.  I was even laughed at by someone when I even said, "No" to something and cited it to, "Guarding my time off."  It's so difficult for those of us in the vineyard of the Lord to take time for ourselves, because we see the value of each soul.  We know that souls have an eternal value, and as evangelists, whether with tweens, teens, college students, parents, or parishioners, we understand the urgent nature of the Gospel message.  We know that we need to reach as many souls as fast as possible.  This is truly a life-or-death business we are in, and it's an eternal business.  We are well trained; we are passionate; we work with great love.

Here's the thing - working as if you are the one saving souls is dangerous for everyone involved.

On a human level, when you begin to work all the time, you find it impossible to separate work from personal.  In ministry it's not necessarily a terrible a thing to have work and personal together all rolled into one thing.  However, look at it from this perspective:

One day I was talking with a woman whom I love and now call one of my best friends.  This woman was exhausted and running hard still after souls, which is completely admirable.  I asked her, "When was the last time you took time just for you?"  She couldn't remember and through her tears told me how tired she was.  What broke my heart even more was the litany of things she said immediately following, "I just know that I need to talk to so-and-so.  I need to call so-and-so.  I need to get with such-and-such team to help them with their practice so I can get a repoir with them.  And all these woman written down here in my prayer journal need to be invested in, too!"  It was that moment that I realized she thought it all depended on her and no one else.  I asked her if she thought that, and she responded she did.  It turns out she forgot that Jesus is doing the work, not her at all.

Taking time is often less about our own physical needs, and more about our own spiritual needs.  If you are working all the time, who is really doing the work?  Even Mother Teresa would take an extra holy hour on her busiest days running an entire religious community and hospital for the ill in Calcutta.  It's a reminder of the One in charge - the Lord.  The Holy Spirit is opening the hearts and softening the soil for the seeds He will plant with the words He gives you.  Really, you just show up when He plans.  He plans for you to show up six days a week, and I'll explain that in a minute.  This is a serious pride issue!  If you are taking yourself that seriously, you need to recall you still need a Savior.  It's by grace, alone, you are who you are (see the second reading from today's lectionary).

It's not good for those you serve to misunderstand what it means to be radically available.  Granted, if someone's mother died, you'd want to be available for that.  If someone was up late writing a paper, you don't need to be available for that.  Having healthy boundaries is a necessity in ministry.  Why is it necessary for you to have these boundaries?  The minute these people rely only on you is the minute you've failed them as an evangelist.  Yes, you can recover from this, but hear my point first.  If someone is attached to you, they most often will not attach to Jesus - the person you are doing the work for.  Having healthy boundaries is a balancing act.  Don't become so detached that you know nothing of them or vice versa (make sure you are doing a healthy amount of sharing in your ministerial relationships), but don't allow a dependency there.  You know what that looks like....

Now, I want to talk about this in the context of the Church.  If you ignore everything I say, don't ignore the mandates of Holy Mother Church.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church says this:

2172 God's action is the model for human action. If God "rested and was refreshed" on the seventh day, man too ought to "rest" and should let others, especially the poor, "be refreshed." The sabbath brings everyday work to a halt and provides a respite. It is a day of protest against the servitude of work and the worship of money.

You, my friends, have been called out.  Here's the important thing to remember.  God is perfect; God can do all.  God rested.  Get over yourselves and take a freaking nap (or a day to go play with your kids).

I am also throwing this out there.  Single people - if you think you don't have time to discern your Vocation right now, you are doing something wrong.  If you experience the call to marriage, make time for him or her NOW, and they will fit into your life in the fullness of time (to steal a line from scripture).

Now, those of you that know me well are laughing hysterically at this blog.  When I was even hired for this job I have now, one of my references warned me, "Manda you're fantastic, but your one downfall is you work too hard."  I write this as a reformed over-worker.  I had a great person talk with me regarding this - my former chaplain when I worked for FOCUS as a Team Director.  Fr. Lowry challenged my a lot in my time off.  There were two times, explicitly, I remember him sending me home to take time off. Now I take time off.  I stay home Tuesday mornings because I'm in late Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.  I take Fridays and Saturdays, generally (sometimes there are relational ministry games and plays to go to, so I take extra time elsewhere).  I see friends when I'm home. I call my family.  I write my grandfather a letter.  I pray.  I visit with my spiritual director.  I have a glass of wine and watch Downton Abbey.  I play my guitar.  I sit in a coffee shop and read.  I drive to the gluten-free bakery.  I go to the farmer's market.  What's so wrong with those things?  Nothing.  It's a beautiful thing.