This is a quote from a movie I started watching, but the quote began to spin my head into oblivion. I never actually got past the first scene of the movie. The movie is called "John of the Cross".
I reflect a lot on the lives of the Saints, especially in my new home as a missionary. The Lord has called me to take up residence as a missionary to Middle School and High School youth in Mesa, AZ. This particular parish I'm working with has a beautiful, albeit out of the ordinary, mural behind the altar. The mural has several well-known Saints and Blesseds admiring the tabernacle placed in the center of the sanctuary. This year several of these holy men and women are the patrons and patronesses of the small groups for the EDGE program, giving the students opportunity to learn more about what devotion to Saints really means. It's awesome to see how they've responded so far!
Back to the topic - He would stop at nothing to be with his beloved. In this case, the Beloved is the Lord. The true difference between a Saint and another person who is merely existing is their honest pursuit of their Beloved. This is why Saints are married, consecrated or really any Vocation that is a true Vocation. They stop at nothing to run after their Beloved. They've found something - the pearl of great price - and they're selling everything they own just for that pearl.
Here's the thing - he would stop at nothing. That's the problem, isn't it? If we were to accomplish the sanctity of this man, of these men, would we not already be home? Isn't just this life a journey home?
I was convicted in prayer in June about the Lord's desire for me to pray. Yes, ok, I know He wants me to pray, but it's all the more important not just because it "gets me through the day" or because "consolation is how I function". Here's the beautiful thing He told me (and maybe I'm way behind the curve here, because I'm sure everyone reading this has been there) - no matter how much I need the consolation, no matter how much I struggle with loneliness, these moments of consolation in prayer, these moments of sheer tenderness, mean far more to Him than they will me. That's why I should go to prayer - the selfless motivation that it means something to the Beloved. That's the beauty of these Saints - these men! They are true men!
Isn't that what our battle is? Women, don't we feel like we're fighting a battle against ourselves and for our men? I struggle every day when I see men fail to be real men because the culture tells them what "masculinity" truly is. Being a man isn't your sexual conquests. Being a man isn't making the big bucks to bring home to yo' baby mama. Being a man isn't even owning up to the mistakes you've made. Being a real man is accepting that your life is one laid in pursuit of the Beloved, and selflessly following His will for you. Eventually that leads you to a life of great sacrifice but amazing reward in marriage (marriage to a beautiful woman or a beautiful Church - He'll tell you!).
So, tonight I'm called out, once again. In the true freedom of prayer that I learned in Honduras, I'm begging the Lord for His strength to stop at nothing for the Beloved. For Him. For me. For whoever out there is going to be bold enough to love me through the journey Home. Praise God. Have a goodnight!